[one_half]I told you earlier this week that I feel like the winter blues is coming up. I don’t know if it is that or I am just having a bad time. Perhaps the exam week took all of my energy or the darkness is just sucking it out of me. My boyfriend noticed and, as he were about to travel for work for a few days, he pretty much nicely forced me to take the 2 hour bus ride to my parents and stay there the whole week. I didn’t like the idea very much. I have been talking about going to my parents for weeks now but only for the weekend! Not missing out on lectures, especially in the beginning of a course! What if I miss something very important that will affect any chances of passing the exam! What if I totally failure and it is because of missing 3 lectures?! I really don’t like missing out if it was not planned. I feel like I am losing the control over my studies. Over my life!

This is how my mind is thinking.

So now I am here in this little village up north. It is totally dark at this time. But I am grateful though, now when I am here. As much as I want to go to the lecture I have to admit to myself that I would probably be too tired to attend them anyway. Instead of being tired, alone in a little apartment and stressed out I am having my family around and accepting my condition. The saying “Rest more do better” does not sound that fun at all, but it is SO important. And, come on, the world will not end. There are class mates taking notes, teachers putting up powerpoints and books to read everything you need to know. So please, Greta and everyone else out there, take your time to rest and heel and everything will be ok. (I am so trying to force theese thoughts right now)

I really don’t know what I am whining about, in a month my boyfriend and I will travel to California to attend a Nepalese wedding and I will be missing out just as much as this week. And that I am totally fine with! Maybe because it contains a lot of fun! I can´t wait!

I am so unmotivated as well at the moment. Catching up on the lectures have been in my head all day and I have been thinking about doing it. Not doing it. Doing it. Waiting for the right “moment”. The darker it gets the more tired I am feeling so I decided not to. Then my little brother, age 10, is telling me he has a test tomorrow and he wants me to study with him. Oh… ok. At least I got a little done today and it is easing my mind a bit.

I am so used to having the snow lighting up at this time of year. By now it feels like the darkness is eating up all the little brave lights out there. How are you guys, living in the south part of this country, getting through winter?? I am stunned!

So sorry guys, nothing more exciting is happening this week. For me the most exciting will be a trip to IKEA. I love many of their products and the clever thoughts behind them. Need some inspiration this week for sure!

Hope you all are fine. Hugs to all of womengineers lovely readers out there![/one_half]


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